Category Archives: Meditation

Remembering Connection

The tears come – spring into my eyes .. and will not stop. I know if I let go the flood gates will open – so I breathe into it – the opening is there unbidden but rushing in. Gifted to me with no volition of my own. Simply being here – being for a moment still – and existence rushes in .. the flowers shower and the gifts of the connection of souls allow me to feel myself – to remember that which I have forgotten.

The music transports me .. I am alone – separate and yet it is the sharing of the space and the melting of the souls and hearts together that allows me to break open and feel the space of our wonderful Universe.

How interesting it is that my busy life takes me so far from this space and yet just a hint, just a moment of recognition and I fall back into that place deeper than ever before.
It is a kirtan event – singing of repetitive odes of joy to existence and the energy of the Gods – a birthday party for a friend – a gathering of beings together to celebrate and sing and dance. The voices rise and fall together, the harmonies intertwining and the drum carrying the beat. The chants beginning slowly – measured and considered – and then as the voices of all join, the tempo lifts and reaches into the place of joy and the abandon that comes when the Divine is invited in.

It is completely unexpected – my immediate response – that allows me to fall into a place of purity and depth of existence. As is said on the Desiderata that hangs on our wall… “In the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.”

It had been a difficult week, I had seen too much of the bad news of the world – been caught in the snare of the media hype and taken on some shadow of what ifs?…
Here in the music, suddenly I am lifted out of the place of fear and anxiety into another reality – here is the parallel – here is the place of joy and of bliss and of interconnectedness… the place where I know.. all is well.. despite any of the turmoil and chaos that is around me – the political garbage, the stress of our lives – the pain and the suffering .. this too exists .. this too is real, this too is…..

And as I now stand and allow the music and the singing to transport me, and lift my arms to the heavens to feel the infinite joy of the energy of beingness, I come home to myself.
So many realisations – just out of reach of expression are falling in to me, along with the sensation that I am being showered with the blossoms of existence. My imminent departure to India.. back to the land of Kali and Krishna, and Gopal and all the gods of that infinitely colourful land. My knowingness that I go to India for me – that it is my time – my place – simply to open up and allow India to wash over me and transform as it will. Not to ‘help’but simply to be.. to allow what comes to me to be done and allow what is to be .. I have known this before that my work in India is for myself – but once again that sense comes home to me in full force.

It would seem that the leaving of Australia and all that is here for me is a challenge.. can be difficult … can be something that is done for altruistic reasons.. and if done in that vein then the struggle will be there. But if the realisation is as it truly is, that the return to India is completely and utterly my choice and for my own evolution then all suffering has to fall beside the path – has to be seen for what it is .. simply self indulgence of a ridiculous nature.
And in that I see too that it is time not to be hard on myself.. that when I do fall by the wayside into the ‘self indulgence’ that this too is part of my journey, intertwined in the learning of the whole. Is it learning? Or is it simply letting go? The questions that arise as the insights come – such a simple thing .. this kirtan, this chant, this space inside myself – to open the place for the unfolding to be.

Thank you to the kirtan – thank you to the community that has brought me to this place. Thank you to David who spoke at the outset of the ceremony of our aboriginal roots. As he was speaking of the welcome to country, as he began the afternoon’s blessing of music and dance, he spoke to those of us who were born here and absorbed the land through the minerals and the air and the dirt of country.. so that we too though white skinned simply need to remember who we really are..
Thats when the tears began to fall .. as the connection was made to my roots .. those roots that are to be transported again to India.. to connect again with my roots in that ancient land.. from one ancient land to another.
Where will this journey lead me? I know not. But I do know that it is right – and on the path that opens before me – revealed as my steps lead me on, I am cared for and nurtured and .. as I go….I do not go alone – I am forever guided on the way – for my existence is an extension of those who surround me and cheer me on as I go forward on this great adventure called life.

When We Get Stuck…

Life is so good to me.  If I am quiet just for a little while, if I practice what James Altucher calls the Daily Practice, even partially, if I allow myself to receive the messages that are available to me – then I can move on.

There are times when I guess we all feel a little or a lot ‘stuck’. In that place where nothing seems to be moving and no progress is appearing.  For me, I tend to try to push through – my mind says .. “You have to be doing something – you have to be accomplishing something. Nothing is happening.  What are you doing? Where are you going? What is your next project?”

Aaargh…. I feel so stuck.

Then I start to look around for advice – for someone else to tell me what to do.  Yeah great idea Shazar! As if others know what you should be doing to move yourself into a more productive state of mind.  Or rather to discover within yourself that state of joy.

Because all that is really needed – is to move into a space where joy can be allowed and can flow.  What I DO on a daily basis.. is that really what is important?

No – what is much more important is what I am BEING.

For ‘being’ is what it is all really about.  When I am joyful – who cares what I am doing?  For that joy can spread and grow from such a small seed.

And from that empty space in which joy arises, can come also the inspiration and the step forward into a world of wonder and creativity and ultimately productivity.

But the productivity does not come first.  There lies the error.

Today – I have been in that place of ‘stuck’ – its easy for this Piscean nature of mine.. “oh dear which way should I swim?” and I was shown again the wonderful tool called “Ho’oponopono” – a simple and effective means of clearing the slate –  the link will give you the full process  – and do watch the video – but here it is in brief:

Whatever is niggling at you – whoever you are tussling with in your mind, – and your own struggles with your self.. place them there in your consciousness and use this technique.

1. I am sorry  (to the person, to yourself, or the situation)
2. Please forgive me (as above)
3. Thank you (as above)
4. I love you (as above – and really feel it as you say it.)

Repeat as needed – and breathe new life into your day.

Thanks to all that conspired to show me the way yet again on this beautiful day on Planet Earth.

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Stillness Within

Living in a land where few speak my mother tongue, most of the language around me is simply sound – there are many children here and none of them are silent – so it is often a cacaphony of big sound. But the sound is sound … laughter, play – as of the birds, or even of the highway – or the city noise. It has no verbal meaning to me.. it is noise – sometimes harmonious and sometimes not.

At times it is simply too much and is difficult for me to just allow it to ‘be’ in the background especially if joined by the intensity of the dog barking close to my door or the Shelter cat yowling to be fed.

But I have found that social chatter – ‘what happened when’, talk of things we cannot do anything about – politics, ‘who is doing what’ -‘ who did what to whom and when’ – creates  a clatter in the mind that is far more disturbing than the bark of the dog!

Yes being on the outside of conversations, having no idea of the meaning – is difficult and frustrating at times – but the gaps – the space – the place to allow the flow of the quiet to just be – this has become deeply significant to me.

butterfly

Let me not become a recluse,
or one who cannot tolerate the chatter of the world –
but gift to me the silence of the spirit and the heart.

And when I find not that space within myself –
allow me to hear the wisdom of those around me
who will remind me where I shall seek that space again
to heal the mind and the spirit of the noise of our world
that keeps us from the depth of understanding.

Stillness within
the quiet of the heart
freedom of being
to soar above sound
to dive deep
the blessing of silence
deep inside
a gift
a present
a now
a breath

 

The Space Within

Picture of our BuddhaDo you know that space?  That feeling behind the solar plexus, that gap?  The one we often fill with our addictions?  I am feeling it tonight.. I try to put a label on it.. ‘homesick, alone,’ looking for something outside of myself to fill it.  Examine it, enter into it, feel it – because it is there not to be covered up or glossed over.  It has a shape and a reason – and although it is inside, if I enter it – everything expands. The edges of me blur and lose distinction and separation disappears.

Being here at Shikshan Gram has a tendency to put me right in touch with me.  There are no easy addictions to escape into.  TV – movies – special foods – alcohol – not even the fridge to find the pre-dinner biscuits and cheese, just the space inside.

Its very interesting this feeling of being on a retreat in the middle of the racket and noise and chaos of living on a building site filled with the sounds of a hundred small boys!  But a retreat it is .. and I ask for the courage to enter in to this space inside that has no limits – and I know I have not even begun to feel the truth of it as yet.