Change, what change?
Did anything really change? Our sun rises and sets “same as it ever was” in the words of Talking Heads. The moon waxes and wanes and tonight she will burst forth with all her glory from behind the rain clouds into her fullness of the Scorpio moon – watch out for the tail.. it can sting.. the depth of our self-examinations can cut deep in these times of social – (why social).. why not simply say it as it is ‘physical’ distancing. I have felt the change in the weather these past days – more strongly than changes due to COVID and still the beach is there, and joyfully for me, there have been no restrictions in this part of the world about my freedom to visit the sand and the sun and the ocean. What is the change?
ah, the future has changed… that’s almost funny… how does the future change when the future does not exist?
My picture of the future has changed.. that is what makes it funny.. the future has become physically smaller – it puts me in the now, it becomes my vegetable seedlings growing in the back yard, it becomes what we shall eat for dinner.. brown rice, peanuts cut greens through it.. life becomes in some ways smaller. I have been a traveller for a long time – life here in Perth was sojourns between my last journey and the next… now life here in Perth is.. there are no journeys in the future… none that I can book anyway. So I stop… and as I stop, the world begins to stop around me. It’s quiet – the traffic noise is dulled down – the streets in the evening are empty.. the pubs are closed, and my favourite Vietnamese is permanently closed. Out of business… gone to ground.. what has happened to the family that ran it? What is happening for that lady who passed me at the beach this evening pushing her shopping trolley with a meagre few damp blankets piled in it and a jar of questionable red wine in her hand? What is happening on the other side of the world besides what I read in the questionable news?
The trust factor has also become in some ways smaller.. do I trust any news – which news, overloaded with nothing else to talk about in the first few weeks of the isolating time – how many cases, how many deaths – which ship in port – what’s happening to the refugees – how is my family in India – where are we going – is this really the great reset of the earth – or will we quietly slide back to ‘normal’.
So many questions and so few real answers – once again the future is gone.. same as it ever was – and after a couple of weeks of feeling we are shut in – feeling the challenges of restricted movement – experiencing wild swings of emotion which flew at me from out of nowhere – suddenly I was over it .. I wanted no more COVID-19 updates – news, statistics – projections – predictions and theories of direst possibilities from One World Order to forced vaccination programs to huge death toll to fear and terror promoting strategies .. to seeing the reptilian faces of so many of our politicians and monied ones..
and as I stopped devouring the ‘news’ real things began to appear.. the radishes grew in my garden – the spinach began to look like one day I can eat some .. and I let go of some of the fear and began again to hug my sisters and feel their heart same as it ever was.. …
…and the sunsets over the ocean threw magic every evening – proclaiming freedom, proclaiming the utmost creativity of our insanely special Earth and reassuring me that Mother Earth will prevail whatever our future may bring.. Same as it ever was…….