She sat in a state of confusion – despair beckoning its bony finger at her.. information overload crowding in – YouTube, FaceBook messages, friends wanting to keep her informed – random drive by panic stories… conspiracy? – Fake news? Is it real? – It feels real, all the signs there – the research solid – or is it? And the questions come: “Where am I in all of this? And where are you?”
She asks: “Does this catch your throat also – does it gnaw in your belly? What are we doing – the ‘human race’ that seems less human and more demonic by the day?”
“The Fauci’s, the Bill Gates, the big Pharma, the war machine, China looms, Russia.. (don’t even go there).. and who ever said anything about health freedom, the spectre of microchipping, of vaccine passports, of a social credit score (not so far from China)” – as she turns all of this over in her mind, she seeks the place where she can be still.

She is seeking what is true for her. what is real – and as that happens she asks who else around her is being overwhelmed – asking the self same questions?
“Perhaps” she asks: “Am I expressing this confusion and questioning also for others who are in similar place? This is my question?”
It arises constantly – on almost a daily basis – as she goes about her relatively mundane life.
“What is mine to do in this time of chaos? How can I make any difference? What is real and what is not?”

There are diverse stories in every corner of the day and night. On the extreme edge, planned depopulation by the controllers of the world – the few who pull the strings, names are named, those in high places proposing “The Great Reset”. There are many wild and seemingly wondrous ‘conspiracy theories’ – and when you dig into them they are altogether too plausible.. secret signs and symbols, hidden in plain sight – there for all to see if you just know what they are.
Implanted chips, distorted RNA – fake data, calamitous consequences, sterility, immune systems gone haywire – the “mark of the Beast” no less.

How to know any more what is real? But – right from the very early days of these measures of control her future vision warned her that the ‘side effects’ of the effort to control the spread of the disease – were going to be far worse than the immediacy of illness.
In India. where poverty is already endemic, the hunger pains are outgrowing the pandemic. Crops left to rot in the field, supply chains disrupted, families separated by lockdowns, the fragile string that holds these people between survival and ruin.
The flag of famine raises its spectral being in the mind .. whatever death the actual virus is causing or potentially brings – pales to insignificance beside the horror of famine – the complete failure of food stability – the catch phrase many in India have been working toward for so long.
And now as the days move on and the so called second wave is in full force there – and the bodies pile up .. the system is overstretched and overwhelmed – what of the food security now?
But this is not to be a treatise on what is wrong – on how we can come out of this nightmare that has been seemingly thrust upon us.
And now may I bring it back to the personal?
And ask what is mine to be, to do in this time.. how can I awaken – and stay awake in the complacency that surrounds me?
I become almost desperate – disheartened and deep into a place of despair. How to make a difference in this time? Do I shout from the rooftops my chosen preferences for freedom.. do I parrot off the endless news reports discovered on the alternative channels .. not yet quite pushed to the dark web.. but close to that for the mainstream channels are so censored and narrowed that simply uttering the word C…d puts you in the limelight for deletion.
And so I reach out .. in this time of isolation – reaching out becomes even more imperative.. I cannot do this alone.. I am not alone.. I am a citizen of this earth .. of our Mother.. despite masks, social distancing, isolation, quarantine – lockdowns, we have to reach out.
And I do.
I reach out to my good friends.. not across the street.. but far from me in another land, fortunately in these times of instant global communication – just there at the end of an email.
And I am heard.
From a place of darkness, confusion and feeling powerless in this mess, I listen to the voice of reason that arrives in my inbox. The first is says: “yes”.. my friend too is in a place of this chaos and disturbance. And as I am, he is also asking where to go with that? To throw all in that we have been working for and teaching .. and to simply take up the fight and try to help others to see what we see as the light?
No… we agree – this does not work.. neither he nor I can walk that path..
Fight creates fight.
So is it resistance that is required.?. Resistance – the holding of pressure.. building pressure, resistance to the ‘other side’?
But wait a minute.. what really is the other side? Aren’t we all one?
We toss it between ourselves – understanding that we are both in a place of not knowing – reaching out – connecting – asking for help –

and help comes. In the voice of another … she says …

“Evil works by diversion.”
The light comes on ..
Evil.. darkness, whatever you want to call it.. only gains power when we are diverted from our light.. when we turn our face to the confusion and allow ourselves to become distracted from our central core.
Again it is time to stay awake – keep our focus, don’t be distracted by the “is it true or is it not.”. yes .. there is much evil abroad in our world right now – that is very clear – but can I do more about this by becoming embroiled in it? No .. Can I wave my banner and because of my personal beliefs alienate even some of my very old friends?

It’s easy to see that.. just make some controversial comment on your FaceBook feed and watch the flames arise!! No I am not going there.
It is time to see the evil – to know it is there.. evil may sound like a very biblical word.. but it is simply a word I choose to name the epitome of darkness. We know what evil is .. all of us, whatever creed we may follow. so evil I will call it as such.
I say again..
Evil works by diverting us from ourselves.. by turning our faces outward, but offering so many rabbit holes that we do not remember who we really are any more.

If I come back to myself – it doesn’t matter what my personal preferences are.. or what yours are.. if I turn back to me, to what is mine to give – mine to be – my light to shine – then I can become whole again – and as that – maybe, just maybe others can
be inspired by my light. and then – I have done what I am here to do and to be.
A Being of Light .. a beacon .. shine.. shine on.. it is all we can do.

With deep acknowledgement to the wisdom of my friend Landi Jac.. who said: Evil works by diverting your gaze away from where your focus should be.. it takes your focus off your central balance to chaos.
Work on inner strength rather that on fixing others .. that will help you to be strong and in that way you will inspire others.”