My last post was the pits. Sounded a bit like a lament.. or perhaps just a fact I guess.. that’s my brain .. I can be a worrier.
But as I walked this morning – the sun peeking over the edge of the earth – the air fresh and crispy – my body feeling a little more alive from yoga last night – mmm stiff in patches – but the fast pace shaking it all out of me – so too the worries were gone.
And the luckiness poured down .. and flowed around me – and as my day progressed so to did the feeling of being incredibly fortunate. Mostly its just the little things that show me I am blessed.
Like how is this..
A couple of years ago I decided I didn’t need ot keep a car any more. Well when you are out of the country for more than half the year who needs it? But I was pretty attached to having wheels.. Perth is not the easiest place to get around unless unlike me you are athletic and get ‘onya bike!’
But this time when I came home from India – I have been in the most fortunate position of having a car on loan every day bar one. The cars just drove into my life as I needed them. Four months of constant transport – some of it quite luxurious!
Then yesterday .. I needed to borrow a laptop for 3 weeks.. within 2 hours three had been offered. (Thanks Facebook Friends!)
So when I worry and stay awake at night and think I shall never manage to get everything done or I won’t have ‘enough’ – whatever that is? .. all of these small events that add up to an incredibly fortunate life come to tell me – ‘I am cared for – I am loved – I am supported – and abundance surrounds me. Gratitude is the key.
So tonight it is thank you
Thank you for the sunset
thank you for the moon
the beach and the ocean
thank you for the joy
thank you for my sisters
thank you for all the happy dogs I meet
thank you for the air I breathe
thank you for my healthy body
thank you for the children
and all the blessings of water
thank you for each and every gift I receive
each and every day
and thank you too for the sleepless night
that makes the contrast of the light.
When was the last time you woke seemingly in the middle of the nght – wide awake – no hint of sleep in your eyes – and a million thoughts in the the head?
This night past has been one of those. It feels a rushing time – a time of never being able to get everything done – almost as if I should get up now because if I don’t all is lost.. and even if I do get up now.. there is never going to be enough time.
And finally its morning, and a few moments of rest were given just before the dawn – but the hang over of the spectre of worry is still there. Its like a darkness hovering.. taunting me – just out of reach .. telling me that I am simply too slow.. I can’t do it all. I won’t manage and all will fall in a miserable heap.
Often this actually heralds a time when I am on the verge of something – when an offer or a gift has come or I am being invited to create a bigger game.
‘Oh that’s another way of seeing it’ – a different slant. And now yes I have been close to a breakthrough – but one that entails a big learning curve and a lot of work with new software to be learnt and a training manual re-written.
And at the same time I am working intensively on the eco-sustainabilty journey which is taking much of my focus..
oh and it’s my last weeks here and I want to enjoy!
Meeting the people ..
enjoying the challenge of the publicity game –
trawling the net to seek more connections and
taking time out to just ‘be’.
Now it is feeling like a race.. I am almost puffing inside – and nervous energy is starting to spill over into my dreaming time.
Writing.. yes .. that too is on the ‘list’ being left further and further behind and learning those new programs such as Camtasia so I can do the video work and having a lesson on my iphone so I understand the ‘cloud’. And meeting my friend Gary, and learning Evernote to write my book.. oh now I am getting so hyped that I can roll on the floor and laugh.. what else to do?
How to stretch myself into a long thin slice so that all can be placed upon it? How to expand my brain into the levels required to be able to encompass all of the new..
all senses alert
but no – its only half past three
ha not in this head
run, busy, diving thoughts chasing each other
on the canvas of past dreams
who goes there..?
who can take care?
(an offering to our Writer’s Group – a short fiction and poem)
Light silvery rain drifted down, glittering in the bright light of the harvest moon.
The black bird swooped in for the kill. Grabbing in its talons the small mouse who tried to scuttle off into the field, it beat its wings strongly to lift against the added weight of its coming feast.
The mouse struggled and squeaked to no avail – dinner it was .. no more to fossick in the fields for grain.
As the black bird rose higher the rain misting off its gleaming feathers, the ground receded into the dark of the winter’s evening and a shadow slipped behind the trees on the edge of the corn field.
A shadow.. barely seen in the darkening night – noiseless – almost not there.
The shadow drifted into the forest – deeper and deeper – melting into the tree trunks. But wait.. it is joined by another – and then .. more.. a gathering of shades of grey.
Grey ghosts – the spirits of the night – joining together – beginning the dance of the wraiths.
We see them not – for they are of the night
not of our world
beyond our sight
but come they do into our land
to dance and join their ghostly hands
We see them not
they are not ours to view
those spirits of the night
come to return in the mist of the dew
What is their purpose
what is their need
this time to gather under the trees
Seeking the company of other grey mists
where are they from
to where do they go
No one knows
no one asks
no one questions
no one sees
but dance they do dance
under the trees.
and the black bird flies home bearing his prize
calling the whiles to the ghosts with no eyes.
A day to honour and bless our Mother Earth. To do good acts of loving kindness to all beings who walk on this Earth. A day to remember the trees, remember the smallest of animals insects and organisms that support all life. For without the infinitesimal the grand cannot exist.
Blessings on our Mother – blessings to all who walk on Her.
Arundhati Roy – a very favorite author of mine who tells it like it is – and writes stories that will break open your heart and bring you to a state of spiritual activism.
On this day open your heart to the breath of our Earth, the wind in the trees, the sounds of Nature that can move your heart and bring you into a deep connectedness – a place of knowing that we are all one.
Its a story – actually its all a story. I just connected with the Timesquatters on Twitter – and went to read a blog post by a young man called Ben. It was a good post – I kept reading till the end – and then I looked to make a comment – to say how I felt for him in his world – but the comment was somehow disabled – so I hunted a little further.
Oh .. ah ha.. this blog is a story. A fiction – an invention – a tale from four authors – first I felt a little dismayed.. I had been taken in. But had I?
What is fiction? What is fact? When we become involved in our lives and our happenings on a day to day basis.. is it not ultimately a ‘story’? A story told from within our heads.. a fiction invented by the screen of our minds, the belief systems we hold to be true within our personal reality?
When we step outside of our intimate connection to the tale we are currently telling – it all looks a little different. The colour changes, the texture shifts a little and suddenly all seems just that bit less emotional – less dramatic, less personal.
Timesquatters – telling it like it is. In their own world of fiction.
Shazar Robinson telling it like it is – in her own world of fiction.
It is good to stand back and view my world in this light sometimes. It is good to take that distance and become aware that the ‘story’ is never quite the reality – and when the ‘story’ reveals itself as such – we can all move on and leave behind the disturbance in the reality field.
This way we can move closer to the kernel of our lives.
Please ‘see’ me – and I shall do my best to ‘see’ you too.